Thursday, August 25, 2011

My 1st CrossFit Experience

Hey Y'All ~ Here's Shellie's Thesis:

It was a day of learning, and (for better or for worse) the learning began with how to do front squats. (Fortunately there's a pole for that). Then it continued with how to do back squats. (Which, if it weren't for the pole, would have ended up with me stuck with my butt on a medicine ball with no way of standing back up again.) Once Phil had ensured that my legs had been turned into overcooked noodles, he informed me that the warm-up was over. (!!!!!!!).

Next, I learned how to use the rowing machine. (Fortunately, Phil is a gentleman and he held out his hand so I could steady myself as I tried to maneuver one of my noodles over the center of the machine.) Mostly, I was just happy to be sitting. Even after my arms started to burn. In fact, I was happy right up until I had to figure out how to stand up... and since there is no video, I'll move on to the next teachable moment.

Medicine balls. Apparently, holding one over your head and then slamming it into the floor so that it bounces is exercise. Let me say this. Noodles do not respond the way legs do. In reality, noodles do not even listen. For example, you say, "that ball didn't bounce very high, please bend so that I can catch it". They don't. Then you are forced to say "Right then. Please bend even more because now I've missed the ball and have to pick it up off the floor". The noodles just laugh. As I retell my story, it seems impossible that I actually managed to pick up the ball. So I'm thinking that I must have telekinesis because I am sure that I bounced it inadequately at least 9 more times. And I *know* Phil did not hand it to me. In fact, I distinctly remember him suggesting that I bend from the waist instead of trying to squat. What I cannot recollect is whether or not he was trying not to laugh.

Who would have thought that medicine ball bouncing would be followed by push-ups? What most people probably fail to notice about the push-up is that it is preceded by a lie-down. As far as I am concerned, that was the best part and I've decided that calling them lie-downs is just generally more positive, not to mention less intimidating. I think I'm going to suggest this to Phil, if I ever speak to him again.

After the last lie-down, one is expected to stand up. Phil offered to help, but fortunately I was close enough to some sort of unnamed torture device that I could pull myself up. You would think all this sitting and lying down would have aided in the recovery of my legs. But no. Still numb and not listening. This is the point at which Phil asked if I could walk from the building to 41. Across the parking lot. The big parking lot. I accidentally said yes. In my head, I was thinking - walk??? My noodles weeble. They wobble. I'm not sure that they are protected by the "don't fall down clause."

Apparently, I am a human Weeble, because I made it to 41 and back. Now, I am not sure my next move was the right one. I apologized to Phil for not have been able to run due to the complete lack of feeling in my legs. He was very encouraging as he guided me back to the rowing machine....

I can't imagine where it came from (*cough*), but I managed to find some more aggression for the next round of medicine ball bouncing. It actually bounced high enough for me to catch this time. The push-ups even seemed a bit easier. (The standing up, not so much). Then Phil said, can you walk to 41 again? I accidentally said yes (DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!). When I got back, Phil and Jeremy were both waiting for me. They were so nice. So encouraging. So kind. And then they asked, so are you coming back tomorrow? I accidentally said yes...

Having said all that.. it was actually pretty awesome :-):-)

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